This took me much longer to write than I anticipated. Life, right? I haven’t walked well or without pain for 262 days, and it’s looking like surgery is most definitely in my future. In the meantime, I’m getting used to using a wheelchair as needed for mobility and getting back to doing things instead of waiting for the ankle to heal. If I keep waiting at this point, I may be waiting a very long time.
So here are the things that were recommended to me at the beginning of the year that just didn’t work for me – and what I’ve done instead.
- Bullet journaling: This does not work for me. I really don’t know why except that I think I find it more overwhelming instead of helpful. The less pressure I put on myself in that regard, the more I do. If I think about doing a thing, and then go do it, I find that it’s easier for me to just keep the momentum going. Maybe I’ll try this again in the future, but for now, it’s not as helpful as I know it is for others.
- Tried and loved: Dragontree Journals. It’s the most money I’ve ever spent on a journal and it was worth every penny. I have their Rituals for Living Dreambook, and it’s helped me narrow my focus each month. I don’t utilize the weekly schedule as often as I could or should, but having concrete goals for each month, for each project? It’s been a lifesaver. Whenever I have a few minutes I can pick it up, pick a task to work on, and get to it. And yes, this blog post was one of the items listed in my projects!
I could stop there because that was the one thing that didn’t work for me. Everything else recommended has been pretty spot on.
I’m going to take it one step further. Because I found many more things that weren’t working for me and things that I needed to change. I’ve made no secret here of my injury. My goals have changed from wanting to go dancing by the end of the year to just wanting to walk again without swelling or pain. What I didn’t count on was that almost 9 months later I’d still be dealing with the ramifications, nor did I count on the prolotherapy treatments extending for two months over the summer. Strangely, it took looking at my Twitter posts to see that all of July and most of August I had been posting about how exhausted I was. That informed a lot of my decisions and choices moving forward.
- Doing too much: I have had to take a huge step back from the schedule that I’ve kept for the last two years. That included, sadly, saying goodbye to my freelance work as a copywriter. I’ve been working 60 hours a week or more since 2016, and I couldn’t heal while using all my energy to work. That’s a difficult schedule at the best of times. While I’m sad to see it go, I’m happy that I’m able to spend the time I need taking care of myself, in all aspects of my life.
- Thinking I can do it all: Newsflash! I can’t do it all, and I certainly can’t do this alone. Just cleaning the house is next to impossible these days. Vacuuming and washing the floors? Incredibly difficult on the best days, and impossible on the rest. I have an amazing partner who helps me in all the ways I could ever ask for and I am so grateful for him. I also feel guilty sometimes for not being able to do more.
- Using a wheelchair: Yeah, I’ve had to let go of needing to use mobility aids. It’s a really good thing I started using them too. I couldn’t have handled walking around Costco for 2 1/2 hours last Saturday while they replaced a flat tire. Using a wheelchair allows me to be more mobile, so who cares?
- Staying silent: With the direction our country is going right now, I’m done being quiet. Women, in particular, have been taught to stay quiet, keep your head down, and go along to get along. I’m done. So I’m doing my part. Working with several lovely organizations to encourage people to get out to vote. Writing and sending out postcards. Getting involved.
I hope that any of you reading this are inspired to keep examining your own lives and to keep working to make yourself and the world a better place.