Day 100: 100 Days of Scary

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100+ Days. Unexpected journeys. So much love. All worth it.

 

Spaceraptor
This blog post calls for a space raptor running with the space winds.

 

I put on the happiest music I can think of to write this. All my swing dance friends will know why I picked Gonzalo (and all the non-swing dance ones should check him out here because he and his band are amazing).

The other reason I’m writing this to the lovely tones of my favorite band to bal to? Because it represents a return to my true self. The “me” that I thought I’d lost, and the “me” I was convinced I’d never find again. I’m not the same person that I was, which is a glorious thing. But I also feel like I’m finally the truest version of myself I’d ever hoped to be.

I started this blog series with the sole goal of doing things that put me out of my comfort zone. Okay, and the purpose of giving me one real task a day to focus on. Emotional and mental healing isn’t a straight line. Some days I felt like I could conquer the world and others? Not so much. For those more challenging days, no matter what else was going on I could work on my scary thing.

I could not have predicted how this journey would change me. I absolutely could not, nor would I have wanted to, predict any of it. I do love surprises. I have never been more surprised than I am now, nor have I ever been so full of gratitude. My family – biological and chosen – absolutely made this journey the beautiful, healing, fun experience it’s been.

This post is dedicated to you, oh members of my tribe. It wasn’t until I was explaining who was in my tribe that I realized just how many of you there are. Because people I’ve known for a short while, and people who I’ve known for years; through swing dancing or living in Los Angeles; through Viable Paradise and Paradise Lost, in all its space raptor glory?

You’re my people. You’re my tribe.

Yes, I did the work. I will own that. I’ve worked very hard to heal. I read. I wrote. I reflected. I got back to nature. One day I woke up and realized I wasn’t sad anymore.

But you, my tribe? You held my hand every step of the way, sometimes quite literally. You laughed with me, and cried with me, and made me feel the love. And oh boy, do I feel loved. I feel so loved and know I love you,too.

I can’t wait to see what the next 100 days bring, for all of us. It doesn’t seem like a large enough word, but I will say it anyways.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you.

Yes. Thank you. I love you.

 

 

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